At the end of the first Ken Erdedy passage, the phone rings right as someone knocks at the door. He is frozen with panic, not wanting to answer one and have the other be the woman he is waiting for (this sculpture was part of my ‘Reimagining Wallace’ presentation at the DFW Conference hosted by ISU).
As a professional educator, there is nothing I enjoy more than sitting around a table with my colleagues analyzing assessment data. What often happens after about an hour of pouring over numbers and charts and graphs is that I begin to question everything I do as a teacher. I feel this sense of guilt and failure that, even though I set the school record a few years back for the number of students to pass a single AP exam, a large number of my students still don’t know how to attach a subordinate clause properly to an independent clause.
A while back, I once again found myself in the annual ritual of sitting at a table with my fellow English teachers, staring at the latest testing data, which – on the one hand – was very encouraging: we are doing a lot of things really well to prepare our students for college. But looking at the areas for growth brought up a lot of questions about what we teach and how we teach it.
It boils down to the never-ending tug-of-war between teaching the art and science of the English language. Most of us English teachers became English teachers because we love literature and want to inspire that same passion in our students. But the reality is that we have to equip them with the reading and writing skills they will need to be successful in college and beyond. Pragmatism would say have them read Huck Finn and Hamlet and a few Emily Dickinson poems, and spend the rest of the time on syllogisms and comma splices.
But we need to read good literature and we need to teach the next generation to do the same. Yes, I know that the vast majority of my non-English-teaching colleagues and most of my students won’t ever need to know the symbolism of the great Mississippi River in Huck Finn. Nor are they likely to engage in an intelligent debate about whether Hamlet actually goes crazy or whether it’s all an act. And they will probably never be tested on why Miss Dickinson capitalizes seemingly random words throughout her poems. Outside of an appearance on Jeopardy!, most of this knowledge will have little consequence in their “real world” lives.
But we need to read good literature, for a reason far more important than its “real world” application. David Foster Wallace, author of the postmodern epic novel Infinite Jest and recipient of the MacArthur “Genius” Award, once said, “Fiction is about what it means to be a f***ing human being.” See, it is through storytelling that we make sense of the human experience. Ideas like love or heroism or betrayal are too vague and abstract by themselves; they seem just out of reach of our comprehension. But illustrated through a story, these intangible concepts suddenly become much easier to grab ahold of.
This is nothing new; all throughout history, people of every tribe and nation have told stories to try to understand who we are and why we are here, to give meaning to our otherwise hollow existence. Ancient civilizations told stories to explain the natural phenomena they witnessed on a daily, seasonally, or yearly basis. Most all of the world’s major religions use narratives to describe the creation of our world, man’s relationship to his god, and – for many faiths – how it all will one day end. Even today, we continue to rely on the writing and telling and reading of stories to help us make sense of this thing we call life.
So while reading and discussing the great works of literature may have little bearing on test scores and may not help a young person succeed in college and may have little to do with their careers as adults, these great works of literature are essential to understanding ourselves and the world around us. They help to provide us with meaning and purpose; they give us a unique lens through which to see ourselves. They are an indispensable piece of the human experience, one we cannot live without.
Several months ago, I decided to take a hiatus from this blog to focus on several other projects: I had a book to finish writing. I had to wrap up the school year and prepare my students for their AP exams. I had a brand new online creative writing class to maintain. And I had to look for a new full-time job. The last seven months have been incredibly busy, so I simply have not had the time to devote to this blog.
Well, that was January and now it is August. I finished my book and will be publishing it very soon. The school year is over, AP scores are in, and I have enjoyed a wonderful summer vacation with my family. The creative writing class finished well and I am looking forward to teaching it again in the fall. And I am very excited about starting my new teaching job in a little over a week.
So, in the midst of taking care of these time-consuming yet very fruitful endeavors, I have had the time to reflect on things. I have thought about what to do with this blog. I began this blog three years ago to give me some much-needed discipline in my writing and to try to find my voice. And to read and learn from one of the most incredible writers I have ever encountered, Mr. David Foster Wallace.
Over these years, I have grown so much as a writer. I have learned the discipline of setting goals and working toward those goals even when it isn’t fun or exciting or sexy. I have found my voice and learned the glorious art of footnotes. And I have enjoyed reading some of the most wonderfully beautiful and difficult literature I’ve ever read.
So, I guess you could say that even though I have not completed the task of reading and blogging my way through DFW’s entire canon, I have gained so much from this experience. It has opened up worlds to me that I never knew existed. It has introduced me to amazing people that I would have never met otherwise. Hell, it got me all the way to Antwerp and back. In-freakin’-credible.
But I also feel it is time to move on to other things. I will finish reading the rest of Wallace’s books and uncollected works. I will continue to participate in the discussion on Wallace-l and in other places. I will keep teaching Wallace’s works in my classes. But I think I need to do other things with my writing. I have ideas for three or four books simmering, one of them being the “Gospel according to DFW” that I have wanted to write ever since returning from Antwerp. So for the foreseeable future I will be devoting my time to those projects and put this one on hold indefinitely.
So thanks, Dave, for all that you’ve taught me and for all the opportunities your writing has given me. It’s been great.
Letters to DFW 